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Happiness Quotes: With a Twist
Happiness quotes to put a smile on your face.

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Happiness is that peculiar sensation you acquire when you are too busy to be miserable.

Money cannot buy happiness but it can make you awfully comfortable while you're being miserable.

Cycology - the science of propelling one's self through the environment to enhance well-being

Expectation is disappointment waiting to happen

Sir, I protest. I am not a merry man.

Herm Albright
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort

Woody Allen
80% of success is showing up

Great men are always of a nature originally melancholy.

To be successful, keep looking tanned, live in an elegant building (even if you are in the cellar), be seen in smart restaurants (even if you have just one drink), and if you borrow, borrow big.

Happiness seems to require a modicum of external prosperity.

Tal Ben-Shahar
There are some people who always feel happy. They're called psychopaths

Ambrose Bierce
Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another

Niels Bohr
Some subjects are so serious that one can only joke about them  

Chief Brody, Jaws
We're going to need a bigger boat

George Burns
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Calvin & Hobbes
God grant me the strength to change what I can, the inability to accept what I can't and the incapacity to know the difference

Jean Caldwell
The only truely happy people are children and the creative minority

Johnny Carson
Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill

What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realised it sooner

Kitty O'Neill Collins
What I'm looking for is a blessing that's not in disguise

Salvador Dali
There are some days when I think I'll just die from an overdose of satisfaction

Robertson Davies
If you are not happy you had better stop worrying about it and see what treasures you can pluck from your own brand of unhappiness.

Bo Derek
Anyone who says money doesn't buy you happiness doesn't know where to shop.

Benjamin Disraeli
I feel a very unusual sensation - if it is not indigestion, I think it must be gratitude.

Brian O'Driscoll
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting one in a fruit salad

Ooh right, it's actually quite a funny story once you get past all the tragic elements and the over-riding sense of doom

Ian Dury
Reasons to be cheerful (part 3)
Some of Buddy Holly, the working folly
Good Golly Miss Molly and boats
Hammersmith Palais, the Bolshoi Ballet
Jump back in the alley, add nanny goats

Clint Eastwood
If you think it's going to rain, it will

Albert Einstein
A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin - what else does a man need to be happy?

If A is success in life, then A equals X plus Y plus Z. Work is X; Y is play; and Z is keeping your mouth shut.

If we knew what we were doing it wouldn't be called research, would it? 

W C Fields
Start your day with a smile and get it over with

Gustav Flaubert
To be stupid, selfish, and have good health are three requirements for happiness, though if stupidity is lacking, all is lost.

Michael Foley: The Age of Absurdity
But who, in the Western world, has not been deranged by a toxic cocktail of dissatisfaction, restlessness, desire and resentment? Who has not yearned to be younger, richer, more talented, more respected, more celebrated, and, above all, more sexually attractive? Who has not felt entitled to more and aggrieved when more was not forthcoming? It is possible that a starving African farmer has less sense of injustice than a middle-aged Western male who has never been fellated.

So the absurdity of happiness is that it is embarrassing to discuss or even mention, impossible to define or measure, may not be achievable at all - or, at best, only intermittently and unconsciously - and may even turn into its opposite if directly pursued, but that it frequently turns up unexpectedly in the course of pursuing something else. There is no tease more infuriating...It is tempting to forget the whole thing and simply fall back on the couch with a remote control in one hand and a beer in the other. 

But there is a compelling reason to develop a personal strategy for living. Rejecting issues, which often feels liberating, is actually enslavement. Those who do not produce their own solutions must be using someone else's. As Nietzsche warned 'he who cannot obey himself will be commanded'.

Benjamin Franklin
The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.

Dave Freeman
This life is a short journey. How can you make sure you fill it with the most fun and that you visit all the coolest places on earth before you pack those bags for the very last time?

Andre Gide
Everything has been said before but since nobody listens we have to keep going back and beginning all over again

Jeremy Hardy
Why don’t people just accept that life is sad and cheer up? After all, it’s not going to last for ever.

Sidney Harris
An idealist believes the short run doesn't count. A cynic believes the long run doesn't matter. A realist believes that what is done or left undone in the short run determines the long run 

Ernest Hemingway
There are only three sports: bullfighting, motor racing and mountaineering. All the rest are games

William Inge
On the whole, the happiest people seem to be those who have no particular cause for being happy except that they are so

Howard Jones
Happiness is wanting what you want, getting what you get and hoping the two coincide

Peter Jones
Ignorance has always been a good friend to me.

Gengis Khan
The greatest happiness is to scatter your enemy, to drive him before you, to see his cities reduced to ashes, to see those who love him shrouded in tears and to gather into your bosom his wives and daughters

Rudyard Kipling
I always prefer to believe the best of everybody, it saves so much trouble

Harry Lime
Like the fella says, in Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love - they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.

Vince Lombardi
Show me a happy loser and I'll show you a loser

Chico Marx
You can't fool me, there ain't no Sanity Clause!

Mignon McLaughlin
Don't be yourself, be someone a little nicer

Neil McKenna (of Oscar Wilde)
Many felt there was something not quite right about a man who professed himself so profoundly bored with the subject of sport

Steve McQueen
Life is racing. Everything else is just waiting

H L Mencken
A wealthy man is one who earns $100 more than his wife’s sister’s husband.

John Stuart Mill
Unquestionably it is possible to do without happiness; it is done involuntarily by nineteen-twentieths of mankind

D H Mondfleur
I hate being happy. It pisses me off. Because I know if I try to grab it, it will slip away, like one of those goddamn water snakes. And I hate just looking. I always try to grab

George Nada
I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass...and I'm all out of bubblegum

Freidrich Nietzsche
To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering

We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once  

Daniel Nettle
It would be exhausting to spend all your waking life full of joy, besides which it could probably only be done with access to a chemistry lab and a great deal of money

Norm Papernick
Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness or have gone stark raving mad

Man is a dupeable animal...there is scarecly anyone who may not, like a trout, be taken by tickling

Carol Ryff
History provides countless examples of those who lived ugly, unjust or pointless lives who were nonetheless happy

Today it is bad, and day by day it will get worse – until at last the worst of all arrives

Man is apparently doomed to vacillate eternally between the two extremes of distress and boredom

Albert Schweitzer
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory

Peter Sellers
You only know what happiness is once you're married. But then it's too late.

George Bernard Shaw
The only way to avoid being miserable is not to have enough leisure to wonder if you're happy or not

Give a man health and a course to steer and he'll never stop to trouble about whether he's happy or not

Isaac Bashevis Singer
We have to believe in free will. We've got no choice

Tupak Soiree (Will Ferguson)
Live! Love! Learn!...Capture your bliss

Star Trek
Human fascination with fun has led to many tragedies in your short but violent history. One wonders how your race has survived having so much fun. 

Count Arthur Strong
I'm never happier than when I'm in the company of people less fortunate than myself

Lily Tomlin
I always wanted to be somebody. I should have been more specific

Mark Twain
I can live for 2 months on a good compliment.

Work and play are used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.

Happiness is an illusion; only suffering is real

Junior Walker
I live the life I love
And I'm gonna love the life I live

Ty Webb
I'm going to give you a little advice.  There's a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen and be the ball

Edith Wharton
If only we'd stop trying to be happy we'd have a pretty good time

Richard Whately
Happiness is no laughing matter

Oscar Wilde
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure it's not in order to enjoy ourselves.

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