Change Your Thoughts Or Change Your Actions |
Written by Mark Millard C.Psychol | |||||||||||||
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Reinhold Neibuhr.
Life Satisfaction = Actuality - Expectation How satisfied you are with life depends in part on where you see yourself to be and how well it compares with where you want to be. If things have turned out better than you expected, all well and good. If, however you feel things have not worked out so well the sense of shortfall can be quite disturbing. If so, there are two ways we can restore balance & harmony.
Both can be effective ways of improving our sense of wellbeing - accepting what we can't change and working at what we can - and each comes with its own set of possible pros and cons. AcceptanceThrough acceptance we adjust the fit between our aspirations and the actuality. Our aims or expectations might have been unrealistic in the first place, the reality might actually be better than we think or possibly circumstances changed and we didn't readjust. Either way, seeing things as they are and taking them on board can help us move on. We mindfully accept our situationAdvantages: Peace, serenity, comfort, closure, relaxation Disadvantages: Missed opportunities, unfulfilled aspirations ActionBy changing our actions we set out to shift where we are closer to where we want to be, we pursue our aims, change our approach or behaviour, engage with the world and work it to our will. We physically change our situationAdvantages: Achievement, actualisation, innovation, mastery, fulfilment Disadvantages: Stress, anxiety ChoiceIn some situations, especially where the source of our unhappiness or dissatisfaction is something we can do very little about, changing the way we think about those things is the only practical path to choose. In other situations however, especially where we have freedom to choose, we can use our sense of dissappointment as a spur, a stimulus to do different or better. And the two techniques work well together, in some situations adjusting the way we look at things combined with changing what we do can produce powerful results. Has acceptance or action worked for you? Login to rate this activity and share your experiences Accept or Change Ads
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